This is a topic we all probably search for, and one I should have started with in this book. Relationships under the Lord are everywhere in the media.
Is kissing wrong? Hugs too? Yes, and no.Sex we all know — but kissing and hugs? The Bible doesn’t name those specifically, though it does say to be pure in heart, and to seek His Kingdom and righteousness above all. This is what we ought to do. If you kiss your partner, make sure it’s not coming from lust or manipulation. Let that kiss or hug come from a pure feeling — one not even the married can fully define.
Some couples choose to set boundaries before marriage, deciding not to engage in any sexual relations, including kissing. That’s a personal decision between them, and I support it. In the Bible, we only see sexual intimacy within marriage, so living by those boundaries seems fair.
The media may push you into desiring a relationship. Instagram often shows perfectly timed photos that highlight the joy of being in one, making you start to crave the same — without knowing what’s behind the pictures: the arguments, the disagreements, the need for submission and godly leadership.
Believe me, the Lord will put you through trials that prepare you for marriage. These may be:
Boundaries Are Not “Too Much”The boundaries you choose — no kissing before marriage, no sex, praying every morning with your spouse, going to church every Sunday — aren’t “too much”. We all have different values and preferences. Stating these clearly isn’t being picky; it’s protecting your time and your walk. The Bible says, “when you find a wife” — meaning a wife, not a girlfriend, and definitely not a sneaky link. Setting standards is part of seeking a spouse, not a pit stop.
But above all, centre the Lord in everything you do. Some couples even agree to speak to each other before spending over 200 of their currency. No, that’s not control. One said, money is a gift the Lord blesses them with — so spending it wisely is necessary. Spending over $200 must be discussed to see if it aligns with the Lord.
In modern times, we confuse love with attraction. Attraction is what you feel; love is a choice. If love were just a feeling, then the Lord would have squashed us long ago. How many times have you slipped, yet the Lord chooses to love you? Makes sense now, right?
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the Church.” Imagine sweating blood for sinful people — and you say He just “felt” love for us? Never.